Kerch's posts Kerch on 08 May 2007 11:50 pm
The One Walk Dog
I long for the “one walk dog.” But I know it’s just a myth. I want to do a thing and have it be over and done with so I can go on to the next thing.
My grandmother told me “once and done.” I always hoped it applied to dishes and laundry, but no. She also said: “It’s better dusty than broken.” But it would seem from the disdain on my husband’s face just before he prints the date in the dust with his finger, that she was probably wrong about that, too.
So if there is so much that must be done over and over, If there is so much that can never be truly done, what is the point of bothering at all?
I want one marketing idea and that should work. I want one idea that is also the best idea to get rich quick. and yes, I DO want to get rich quick. I also want to do the work it takes, as long as it’s something I love.. and that’s not walking the dog!
I go to see my acupuncturist every other week. I feel like I’m getting my money’s worth when I feel the stick. (Personally, I feel bad for people who don’t feel anything at all. Where’s the fun in that?!) I am definitely feeling less agitated than I have other times in similar situations. And that’s a good thing for me AS WELL AS the people around me. She tells me that the treatments are part of a process, not a one shot deal. I have also learned, to my great disappointment, that they can’t just stick a pin in you and let out all the extra weight you wish you didn’t have. Now THAT would be medicine!
Maybe my search for that one-walk-dog is really a search for an activity that only feels like a once and done. When I love what I do, I don’t really care how often I do it. I’m only bothered by bordem when the thing fails to engage me.
I am an adult. I do know that there is work involved in doing anything well. But some of that should feel like the play that Ned Hallowell suggests is part of the process of being happy in life.
And maybe my flailing is just about my inability to decide on what ever is MY next big thing.
Stay tuned friends, I’m confident something is bubbling up.
on 21 May 2007 at 8:32 am 1.Betsy Davenport said …
My secret fantasy has to do with all this, Kerch. Maybe you read my (seminal, I thought) article on the subject. I didn’t mention dogs because at my house the People Who Love Dogs and Can’t Live Without Them are supposed to handle that set of pesky jobs — which extend to Making the Dogs Be Quiet When I Want Quiet (and of course that part is always a job not-done; a do-more-than-once task that requires getting up out of a chair).
And I neglected to include in the contract that No Dogs Are Allowed on the Kitchen Table, especially when there is my laptop and a half-glass of milk there. My husband said, “Ah, WE have a dog problem here.” I surveyed the damage and said, “YOU have a computer problem.” So I got a new one and mentioned she’s getting to be one expensive bitch and he was not amused. Neither am I because I had quite recently and at great cost in time and psychic energy successfully separated work stuff (onto the lapslop) and home stuff (onto the big one).
Ever notice how computers and other techno-gismos are so great as long as they serve us, but way too much time goes into us serving them?
Horribly, several years ago, it reached my awareness that Most of Life is Maintenance. It was, I discovered, one of those governing principles with which I had failed, well into middle age, to come to terms. I still don’t fully accept it. In theory I do, but when it comes right down to the practice of the principle? There is laundry in the chair. The bathmat is still wet in the tub because after I sprained my ankle and was forced to soak it in hot, cold, hot, cold, etc. for hours on end, the bathmat got — and stayed — wet. Now, the laundry chute is mere steps away, but, well, you know…
So I have a Great Solution — my Secret Fantasy. It’s not much of a secret anymore since I’ve told any number of people. But it does seem not to have reached the ears of those who are the solution.
Elves. I want ‘em. Now I have a kid who insists the things I want are not elves, but some other named creature, but that’s a technicality. I want someone else, invisible, needing no interaction with me, to do the crumbs, empty the dishwasher, put stuff away, notice when we’re almost out of toilet paper, medications, clean clothes, all that stuff. And, they would come when I am sleeping or away from the house. I’d never see them and boy, would I be in clover.
They can crawl to the back of a linen closet and retrieve the pillowcase that goes with the sheets I like but mislaid a pillowcase. While there, they can stack and tidy. These may seem small jobs, but they add up til I notice, again, that Life is Mostly Maintenance.
I am so not-Zen I am certain I will never get to any higher plane about it. I imagine some higher souls would tell me to live in the moment, notice the motion of my hands as I fold the stupid towels into shapes that fit into the 100 year old cupboards here. The hell with that. I would surely fall down from the sheer mindLESS nature of these boring jobs eating up my best quality: the use of my Mind.
I used to clean with a glass of wine and ABBA turned up loud. That no longer does it. Oh, and there would be med-tech elves who would painlessly arrange for the fat to melt away while I sleep. I would PAY such elves. What do you think they charge, and what kind of currency? Fat, maybe? Crumbs? Half-pairs of socks?
I’m with you. Once is plenty.