Kerch's posts Kerch on 04 Dec 2006 09:39 am
Kerch: The beginning
I start where I am. It really is the only choice. Of course, I could wait to start – until I was thinner or richer. But in the words of the great Buckaroo Bonsai (who likely paraphrased them from someone else who I can’t remember) “Where ever you go, there you are.”
So here I am. At the beginning.
I am a 50 year old woman. In fact, I am somewhat older than that, but I can never remember the exact numbers. So I’ll say 50 until I am 60 and 60 til I am 70. It’s just easier that way. And I am all about easy. Perhaps that’s why I must start in my particular beginning.
My three children are grown, more or less, at least they are living on their own, more or less. My husband claims I didn’t raise them, but rather I let them grow up around me. They drop by to see us from time to time, sometimes for dinner, or a beer or just to say “hi.” Sometimes they move back in for a few months, between jobs or roommates. They’re sort of like “room mates with privileges” only in this case the privileges are free meals and a sporadic laundry service.
I manage my life and its many projects all in the same rather haphazard way. If something comes to the top of the pile, it gets attention. If something is “shiny: it gets my attention. Otherwise, the thing can probably wait. As for my children, I hope they’ll figure out for themselves what’s the next step and take it. Today there’s a newsletter and a sponsorship appeal to produce. There is also financial book work to do – my absolute least favorite job in the world expect perhaps raking leaves! Maybe what’s shiny is this post.
So the task of this post about me… and about my particular starting point … is the naming of the thing that should change this year.
I think I have to call it control.
I need control of my stuff. I do not hoard stuff. But I also do not complete the sorting process well. The final decision always seems so final. I think that sometimes that scares me a little. And so I wait. That leaves me with nearly-completed tasks under the heading of general household maintenance. The last of the dishes are clean but not away. In the bottom of the box of papers to be sorted and filed are a couple weird items like a head set for a cell phone, a couple clothes pins, and a glue stick. I’m not exactly sure where they go, so they continue to live with unfilled papers where they clearly do NOT go. And the file box does not ever completely empty.
I need control of my time. I go to the meetings I am supposed to attend. And I am generally prepared for them. Committees are glad to have me a member because I will keep that process moving to completion – unless, of course, the completion is my job and then it may take a bit longer. I do not THINK people see me as perseverating. (It’s a great word, look it up!)
I need control of my weight. I don’t binge. I pick. I should eat more healthy meals, generally choose more carefully what goes in my mouth. But mostly, the biggest problem is that I don’t exercise. When I had a dog, I got out twice a day for a walk, probably a half mile each time. Doctors always said, “Walking the dog doesn’t count. You need real exercise.” I have two things to say to that.. B… alloney! The great advantage of one of those roll up dog leashes is that the human can set a speed to walk and the dog can keep up or not. He can lag behind 20 feet and then run ahead 20 more. And I just keep walking. If he wants to sniff every tree, fine. But when he reaches the end of his rope, he just better pick it up. And now that the dog is gone, pretty much the only exercise I get is going upstairs to the bathroom; we only have one in this old house.
So here we are, my friend Leslie and I, at the beginning of the year making a pact to make a change – make a permanent change – for the better in our lives. Somewhere I read, and I WILL find the reference, that people who have friends who are doing something tend to do the same thing. If one friend exercises, the other will too. If one friend shops, the other will too.
So this must be about the connection. People generally want to be connected to other people. For me, I need to say stuff out loud to be sure I really mean it. Leslie and I have joked over the last 15 years or so that we share a brain. Sometimes it’s hard for the untrained eye to determine just who has it at the moment.
So what I want to be building in this blog is connection:
- to Leslie — for my own personal pleasure. If you follow along, you’ll be able to participate in some amazing conversations and figure out just how things in your world really work (BTW, I’m not talking about electricity. Some things you just have to take on faith!)
- to the commitments she and I have made about what we’ll change in the next year. I think I can only really make a commitment if I have a connection to the out come. It’s possible that that’s perhaps what makes a commitment personal and, therefore, possible.
- to be public in the process. I know, as a coach, that accountability makes a big difference in effecting change. So here, I have accountability to my friend, who in turn has accountability back to me — for the posts we make here and for how these changes manifest in our world. We hope to be modeling this behavior publicly so that perhaps you’ll find your own friend to connect and grow with. Or maybe, you’ll just pretend that WE’RE your friends, too.
I promise this will be an interesting process. Please come along with us.
